well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
