I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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