Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
3pm strippers are depressing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.