Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....