dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can I color on your dick again?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Randomize
