clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...