Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  did you hook up austin?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed

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  (269): did you hook up austin? (248): No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed http://tfl.nu/3mnz
  Replies (5) Good night (964) Bad night (1482)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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  (913): ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf? http://tfl.nu/d12x
  Replies (44) Good night (842) Bad night (6758)
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  (646): View more from New York

  just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.

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  (646): just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice. http://tfl.nu/48r0
  Replies (4) Good night (3482) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL

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  (206): Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL http://tfl.nu/gjdn
  Replies (15) Good night (1170) Bad night (3814)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?

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  (502): Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk? http://tfl.nu/ayp8
  Replies (2) Good night (600) Bad night (1612)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.

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  (614): I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower. http://tfl.nu/c26q
  Replies (15) Good night (604) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You are a booty call, not a friend.

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  (314): You are a booty call, not a friend. http://tfl.nu/bgd1
  Replies (9) Good night (1565) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...

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  (202): I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him... http://tfl.nu/dz07
  Replies (7) Good night (926) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why does my jaw hurt?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I may have punched you.

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  (303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g
  Replies (8) Good night (1828) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.

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  (253): Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead. http://tfl.nu/ww0m
  Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha

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  (707): I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha http://tfl.nu/s6o5
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"

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  (828): I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?" http://tfl.nu/m95j
  Replies (3) Good night (894) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol

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  (918): I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol http://tfl.nu/mfu4
  Replies (1) Good night (339) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever

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  (251): I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever http://tfl.nu/l3up
  Replies (0) Good night (290) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?

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  (303): Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before? http://tfl.nu/t2sf
  Replies (0) Good night (696) Bad night (309)

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