Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
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He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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