i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
