Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!

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  (734): I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!! http://tfl.nu/dwqd
  Replies (6) Good night (794) Bad night (921)
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  (805): View more from California

  NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

  (805): View more from California

  He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should probably go find him.

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  (805): NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be?? (805): He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is. (814): You should probably go find him. http://tfl.nu/673m
  Replies (11) Good night (3157) Bad night (1036)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."

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  (248): Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth." http://tfl.nu/c9w9
  Replies (15) Good night (7894) Bad night (916)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.

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  (773): Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize. http://tfl.nu/bs3u
  Replies (6) Good night (3692) Bad night (780)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  it's like iHOP with fire

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  (301): it's like iHOP with fire http://tfl.nu/9idi
  Replies (20) Good night (4071) Bad night (883)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He probs deserved it.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Every good man does.

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  (317): I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell. (260): He probs deserved it. (317): Every good man does. http://tfl.nu/4ma5
  Replies (32) Good night (5765) Bad night (1932)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there

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  (585): Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there http://tfl.nu/9lof
  Replies (12) Good night (5307) Bad night (1291)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back

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  (602): Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back http://tfl.nu/8iy3
  Replies (2) Good night (2353) Bad night (762)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.

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  (727): don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/jjm9
  Replies (7) Good night (2007) Bad night (786)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.

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  (978): You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/pq6k
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (445)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Did you high five my face last night?

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Yes. Yes I did.

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  (573): Did you high five my face last night? (417): Yes. Yes I did. http://tfl.nu/h5yc
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (463)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!

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  (417): When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it! http://tfl.nu/b9cd
  Replies (2) Good night (942) Bad night (487)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.

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  (651): I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college. http://tfl.nu/1zaq
  Replies (4) Good night (554) Bad night (384)
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  (951): View more from California

  I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him

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  (951): I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him http://tfl.nu/3cah
  Replies (3) Good night (423) Bad night (690)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.

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  (859): Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder. http://tfl.nu/f5qx
  Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (257)

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