You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
