I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
