I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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