fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
And then he peed in my hair
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