He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
