we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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