Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night

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(361): View more from Texas

is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?

(702): View more from Nevada

not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning

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(678): View more from Georgia

I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.

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(512): View more from Texas

Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.

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(720): View more from Colorado

She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.

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(571): View more from Virginia

FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!

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(812): View more from Indiana

I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night

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