Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
