new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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