do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
