White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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