just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
