There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
