I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
