Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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