and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
