I wish life had little blips of pornography
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize