I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
