just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize