I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
