What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
