At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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