I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize