Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
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