I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
