I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
