Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
