my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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