last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
