yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
