you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
