In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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