i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
