pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
