i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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