my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
