Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
