I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
