Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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