garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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