Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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