i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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