Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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