I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
