please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
