I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He did a backflip because drugs
I love you.
Bad choice
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