I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
