I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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