How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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