I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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