Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
