Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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