i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize