One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
