What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
