If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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