yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
