I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
