PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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